British weather is not a topic. It is a national sport. A coping mechanism. The glue that holds polite society together. If you want to blend in, you must master the art of weather-based small talk. Here are the essentials. 'Bit nippy, isn't it?' Use this when temperatures drop below fifteen degrees. Anything colder is 'a bit fresh' or, in extreme cases, 'taters'. 'Looks like rain.' Acceptable at any time of year, regardless of forecast. The sky could be cloudless and you would still be technically correct. 'We'll pay for this.' Trot this out the moment the sun appears for more than two consecutive hours. It implies smug satisfaction and impending doom in equal measure. 'Lovely day for it.' Vague, versatile, and entirely meaningless. Deploy at weddings, funerals, and queues for the post office. Master these four phrases and you will never be lost for words on these soggy little islands again.