British pubs have been named with a glorious mix of historical reverence and absolute nonsense for over a thousand years. Here are some of the finest examples of the latter. The Drunken Duck (Cumbria). Allegedly named after a landlady found her ducks unconscious in the yard, plucked them assuming they were dead, then watched in horror as they wobbled back to life. Beer leak. Knitted them tiny jumpers. The Cat and Custard Pot (Gloucestershire). Nobody quite knows why. Nobody quite cares. The roast is excellent. The Bucket of Blood (Cornwall). Named after the landlord drew up a bucket from the well full of, well, you can guess. Probably best not to ask about the cocktail menu. I Am The Only Running Footman (London). The longest pub name in England, named after the last running footman of the fourth Duke of Queensbury. Try fitting that in a tweet. The Hung Drawn and Quartered (London). Conveniently located near the Tower. Cheery branding choices our forebears made. Other honourable mentions: The Drunken Monkey, The Goat and Tricycle, The Pyrotechnists Arms, The Crooked Billet, The Quiet Woman. Visit them all. Take pictures. Tell your therapist later.